What if the stakes were never that high?
Unloading the imaginary weight we carry
Let me tell you a story about December.
In my mind, it was supposed to be the month—the one where everything would fall into place. I told myself, “If I’m going to make it as a creator, this is the month it has to happen.” December wasn’t just a month; it was a finish line, a test, a “do or die” moment.
And then, it wasn’t.
I created almost nothing of significance that month. The weight of making it matter so much left me paralyzed. Every idea felt like it had to be groundbreaking. Every attempt felt like it wasn’t enough. By the time the month ended, I felt terrible—like I had failed. Not just December, but myself.
But as I reflected on it, I realized something important: December was just another month. 2024 is just another year. What made December so hard wasn’t external circumstances. It was my narrative about it. I had decided December mattered more than any other month. I had told myself the stakes were impossibly high. That was the story I was living in, and it made everything feel heavier than it needed to be.
The truth is, most of the struggles we face—the pain, the pressure, the stakes—come from the narratives we create in our minds. They’re not always rooted in reality, but they shape how we feel and act.
The Narratives We Carry
Have you thought about why relationships feel so intense? It feels like the world would come crashing in on us if we break up. It’s because of the narrative we attach to them: “This has to last forever.”
That belief can make us cling too tightly, fear every misstep, and leave little room for growth—for ourselves or the other person. But what happens if we let go of “forever” and focus instead on the present? Space opens up for connection, understanding, and change.
Or take the pressure to make money and grow. For many of us, that pressure doesn’t come from a direct need but from a story, we’ve internalized about what success looks like: “I need to reach this milestone to matter.” “I need to achieve this by a certain age.” But who decided that? Where did that story come from?
So, every time I find myself struggling with something for a little too long, I revisit the narratives attached to it…
Every time I find myself struggling with something for a little too long, I revisit the narratives attached to it.
I ask myself: What story am I telling myself? Often, I don’t even realize the narratives I’m living by until I take a step back and name them.
Is this story true? Most of the time, it isn’t. December wasn’t a do-or-die month for me. Relationships don’t have to hinge on forever. Success doesn’t have to look one specific way.
And then, I rewrite the narrative. I shift the story from “This has to happen” to “This could happen, and that’s okay.” I focus on curiosity instead of outcomes: What can I learn? What can I enjoy in the process?
Finally, I give myself permission to let go. Let go of the weight of expectations. Let go of the pressure to make something perfect. Sometimes, the best things come when I stop forcing them.
Little Joys
“Joy is always around if only we pause to acknowledge it.”
With life's burdens and big ambitions, it's easy to overlook our everyday joys. let’s take a moment to acknowledge the small joys from the last week. Here are mine -
I can now kick my leg to hand when I holding them straight over my head!!! That’s something I wouldn’t have dared to dream of at the beginning of the training!
My friend is here to learn Kalari with me for a week!
Got a cool haircut.
Got myself a fanny pack!
Oh, got to learn a new weapon in Kalari!
Stories from my journey
I've fallen in love with the vibrant community surrounding the Kalari Gurukulam where I’m learning Kalaripayattu. It inspired me to write a little piece - A Peek Into the Gurukulam Way of Life
By the time I send you the next newsletter, 3 months of Kalaripayattu training will have come to an end. I had signed up just for a month! What a journey it’s been!