Dreamer vs Dreader - Imagination's two sides
And how to make the dreamer win
When it comes to life and its possibilities, I’ve always had a vivid imagination.
But imagination has two sides—like an angel and a devil—split between the dreamer and the dreader.
The dreamer splashes the future in rainbow hues, brimming with all the things that could go right. Meanwhile, the dreader paints everything in black and white, spiralling into everything that could go wrong.
I’ve always been the dreamer. Fantasizing about miracles and the extraordinary things the future could bring. My world was filled with rainbows, glitters, and Candy Land (or more accurately, a bakery)! I was quick to take risks and embrace big changes.
So, when I planned to pack my bags and hit the road again, I expected to feel exhilarated—thrilled, even. Ready to take on the world and make miracles happen.
Instead, I found myself panicking. Everything felt bleak. All I could think about was what I was leaving behind. What if I left and everything fell apart? Sure, great things might be waiting—but was it worth losing the good things I already had?
“Damn, am I getting old?” That was my first thought when I noticed the shift.
Older, yes. But that wasn’t the reason.
It was the dreader. The protective one. Back then, there was little for him to guard. But now, surrounded by this beautiful bubble of everything I’ve built—the pieces of my life that already shimmer in rainbow colours—the dreader is terrified.
He was so loud in my head, I could barely hear anything else. “What if we burst this bubble?”
I tried to calm him down with logic, but it didn’t work.
Then I realized—if anyone could challenge him, it’s the dreamer. After all, the dreamer is the one who created this bubble the dreader is so desperate to protect. The dreamer is the one who can change the narrative, casting a rainbow lens over the fears.
So, I woke him up and taught him to be louder.
Within days, the dreader faded into the background (still lingering), and the dreamer took over. The excitement returned. Now, I’m ready for an adventure!
Things I Did to Wake Up My Dreamer
If only we were all naturally positive and wired for joy! Since we aren’t we gotta try and paint our world in rainbow colours.
Open When letters – To calm the fears and reassure myself.
Indulging in nostalgia – Recollecting the times I’ve taken leaps and things turned out well. I wrote about them in my journal and how they made me feel.
Conscious dreaming – Instead of letting my thoughts take the lead, I consciously directed a positive movie of how incredible the journey could be. I spent an entire day daydreaming about the amazing possibilities ahead.
Carrying parts of the bubble – Instead of leaving everything behind, I found small ways to take pieces of that bubble with me—a journal and sketchbook to keep my creativity alive, long-distance conversations to set expectations, and non-negotiable habits and commitments to maintain while I travel.
What do you do when the dreader takes over? I could use some inspiration!!
Little Joys
“Joy is always around if only we pause to acknowledge it.”
With life's burdens and big ambitions, it's easy to overlook our everyday joys. These are my small joys from last week -
I got to eat a lot of macrons! Typically a rare treat but I got so many of them last week!
I saw a rainbow!
I was taken on a one-day surprise trip and I didn’t even have to pack!!! It was one of my long-time dreams!!!
An interesting gig came to me at the perfect time.
Honest and important conversations that rekindled the spark. This is a big joy!
I allowed myself to be angry.
P.S. If you enjoyed this, here are a few pieces I think you’ll love:
👉 To make 'struggle' easy, celebrate it. A page from faith and culture for personal growth
👉 Sometimes the best practice is to ignore the best practices
N, I think this was your finest piece till now. Loved the internal conversations between the dreaded and the dreamer. Also loved how you deployed your rituals to save you.