Does the heart really want what it wants?

Or is it just an excuse to do stupid things?

I have said it.

Many have said it to me.

"The heart wants what it wants."

Especially when logically it’s not the best choice.

And for someone who trusts instincts over logic herself, I still have come to dislike this statement.

“The heart wants what it wants.”

What do we mean when we say it?

Do we mean that desire is beyond our control, as if our hearts make decisions independent of us? Do we mean that our emotions outweigh reason, even when we know better? Do we mean that longing is justification enough, no matter the consequences?

Or do we mean that we are surrendering to something bigger than logic—fate or destiny?

The more stories I listen to, the more of them fall into the first three categories.

It looks more like an excuse for risky impulsive decisions, forbidden romances, and just bad decisions that affect others and sometimes even oneself.

It makes desire feel inevitable, like we’re just passengers in our own lives, helpless against the whims of our hearts.

But is that really true?

Because if the heart always wants what it wants, why does it change its mind?

Why do we outgrow the things we once ached for? Why do regrets creep in, whispering that what we chased wasn’t what we truly needed?

I used to believe that desire was instinctive, untamed—something beyond my control. That if I wanted something badly enough, it’s reason enough.

But over time, I started noticing something: my heart wasn’t reckless or free. It was following a pattern. Conditioned by what I fed it, shaped by what I paid attention to, nudged by what I allowed it to want.

The heart isn’t wild—it simply reflects what we feed it or echoes the voices we’ve tried to silence.

Think about the person you kept holding on to—not because they were right for you, but because letting go felt harder than staying.

Or the dream you chased to the point of exhaustion, convinced that suffering is the path to passion.

Or the impulse decision that felt exhilarating in the moment, only to leave you questioning everything after.

When it doesn’t harm anyone, maybe it’s okay. But as far as I’ve seen, it almost always harms at least one person—the one making the choice. “The heart wants what it wants” often ends up being a romanticized way of avoiding responsibility. A way to act first and reflect later.

Emotions, desires, passion—they aren’t always logical, yes. Especially when we haven’t taken the time to look inward. But acting on them? That’s always a choice. Is it not?

What do you think?

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Little Joys

“Joy is always around if only we pause to acknowledge it.”

With life's burdens and big ambitions, it's easy to overlook our everyday joys. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the small joys from the last week. Here are mine -

• Attended a beautiful workshop on Mindful Storytelling by amazing facilitators

  Shivya Nath
  and
  Rishabh Khaneja
  .

• Met a lot of fascinating people and shared a lot of fascinating stories.

• Had four and half aloo tikkis.

• Moved into a beautiful place with a beautiful philosophy.

• Watched 3 stunning sunsets.

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Curious Journeys

For my second chapter for New Roads New Skills, I’m here in the mountains looking to learn various aspects of meaningful storytelling. The journey started with a Mindful Storytelling workshop that went on for four days (you can catch a glimpse of it here).

It taught me and inspired me in ways I did not imagine. There are two other workshops lined up in the journey and some self-learning too. I’m very excited!